I can immediately hear the frenetic music (Billy Joel, of course) when I think of this song. It feels like that music has been the background music for my life for the past few months and I would welcome a calmer tune. I just can't seem to get my life slowed down to a comfortable pace - maybe this is the nature of this season of my life. Or maybe I am just a bad manager of time. I am betting on the latter.
I have a million things I should be doing (like reviewing library director applications or grading class stuff) instead of blogging, but an old classmates recently started blog reminded me what good therapy blogging is for me. To take some time to do something that I do only because I WANT to is something I don't do often. Unless you count the hours of my life lost to Facebook...But I digress...
We had a good couple of months. A trip to Wyoming, visits from all of the parents, a canoe trip, some time to enjoy the pool and another good health report for me. But, good Lord, I have been busy, frazzled, stressed. And things aren't looking to slow down so I better figure out how to manage it.
Bryn is headed for public school next year. The reasons are many, but generally uncomplicated. Suffice it to say we have decided that paying for a less than stellar education jam-packed with a heavy dose of Christian judgment didn't seem like a good idea for us anymore. The pastures may not be greener on the other side but maybe my kid will be able to focus on something besides whether or not her evolution-believing parents are doomed to a very hot eternity.
Library director applications are in and we are reviewing them tonight. The thought of many interviews and the organization that will require makes me tired, but I am hopeful we can secure the right candidate and have a happy ending to this process.
The library budget for next year is under fire from the city. Not easy to deal with when there is no director. I must admit I kind of feel like the council needs to go pick on someone else who has someone in charge besides a bunch of volunteer board members.
Bryn heads to camp this weekend. We haven't even started packing.
Grant is not at all on board with potty-training. Not only is he not on board, he protests the process loudly and violently - basically the way he reacts to just about everything. Very tiring. I think I need a couple dozen nannies to take care of this child-rearing thing for me.
I feel good and my most recent lab reports were great, but I am currently frustrated with a slight uptick in my blood sugars due to a decrease in my meds. Although still within normal range, I want them to be the perfect readings of a non-diabetic. Too bad that isn't ever going to happen for me - I get to hope for a really LONG hold before what I pray will be a SLOW decline. Ahhhhhh...the joys of chronic illness.
There is a whole list of other exciting stuff going on - starting a food pantry at church, the new Harry Potter movie, 12th anniversary, high school reunion. I better work on my time-management and "being-in-the-moment" skills or I am bound to miss it all! I am working on that background music in my head- surely there is a slower tune I can get stuck on.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Lesson for the day
Long rides in the (i.e. zero physical activity), fast food and a trip to the ER to get Grant's head stitched up are not good for the blood sugar. Oy.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Pebbled
I am currently reading a very interesting book called "The Year of Living Biblically" by A.J. Jacobs. In this book, the author spends a year trying to follow ALL of the rules of the Bible. His initial list of rules is around the 750 mark. That's a lot of rules.
For the couple of weeks, I have been feeling quite "pebbled". In the book,the author loosely tries to obey one of God's rules to stone sinners. He finds one, but decides that throwing stones is a bit extreme and ends up throwing a pebble at the man instead. The description of the whole experience made me laugh out loud - the idea of "pebbling" someone was quite amusing. Until I began to feel pebbled. Not stoned, mind you - I haven't had any big hits. Just a lot of stings ranging from slightly annoying to those that produced enough adrenaline to make my blood sugar go up.
The week began with the resignation of the local library director. As the board president (who is quite comfortable just coasting along and running the monthly meeting), this produced almost a full-blown panic attack. I don't know the first thing about searching for and hiring a new director except that it will probably take longer than the few weeks we have to find one before we are director-less. Shit. Coasting is no longer an option.
Finding water in the basement on the tile and parts of the carpet was less than welcome. Fortunately, it was an easy fix (mis-directed output hose from the water softener). And heck, the new water ring stains look mighty nice with the holes in the ceiling from when said water softener was installed.
Some smaller pebbles ranged from not enough people signed up for the mission team garage sale to my 3 year old screaming at me constantly to students begging for last minute extra credit and grade changes after not working hard enough all semester to get the desired grade.
And then a bigger pebble - one that makes me think that it might just be time for me to sit down, shut up and be still. I desperately need a certified postal delivery on this one. Although a burning bush would be just fine. And making it the Russian sage out front would be fine - especially if you burn it up in the end.
For the couple of weeks, I have been feeling quite "pebbled". In the book,the author loosely tries to obey one of God's rules to stone sinners. He finds one, but decides that throwing stones is a bit extreme and ends up throwing a pebble at the man instead. The description of the whole experience made me laugh out loud - the idea of "pebbling" someone was quite amusing. Until I began to feel pebbled. Not stoned, mind you - I haven't had any big hits. Just a lot of stings ranging from slightly annoying to those that produced enough adrenaline to make my blood sugar go up.
The week began with the resignation of the local library director. As the board president (who is quite comfortable just coasting along and running the monthly meeting), this produced almost a full-blown panic attack. I don't know the first thing about searching for and hiring a new director except that it will probably take longer than the few weeks we have to find one before we are director-less. Shit. Coasting is no longer an option.
Finding water in the basement on the tile and parts of the carpet was less than welcome. Fortunately, it was an easy fix (mis-directed output hose from the water softener). And heck, the new water ring stains look mighty nice with the holes in the ceiling from when said water softener was installed.
Some smaller pebbles ranged from not enough people signed up for the mission team garage sale to my 3 year old screaming at me constantly to students begging for last minute extra credit and grade changes after not working hard enough all semester to get the desired grade.
And then a bigger pebble - one that makes me think that it might just be time for me to sit down, shut up and be still. I desperately need a certified postal delivery on this one. Although a burning bush would be just fine. And making it the Russian sage out front would be fine - especially if you burn it up in the end.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Randomness
This is the fourth time I have started this post. With a whole lot of randomness swirling around in my larger than average noggin (saying nothing about my brain size - I do truly have a big head), I can't seem to put anything together. So here is the randomness as it comes:
*My head hurts and it sucks. There are no painkillers I feel comfortable taking as they ALL interact with one of the two meds I am on. If there is no other motivation for me to attempt to get my blood sugar and blood pressure normalized, the fact that I would love an ibuprofen and a swig of Mylanta is enough.
*I sure hate the fact that my grandma is in the hospital in Casper and I am here and my mom is in Arkansas.
*I wish my house was clean. A dust bunny fell out of the (indoor) sky last night. Getting rid of the interim housecleaner was a bad idea. I am going to call her and beg her to come rescue us before we are buried under piles of gunk that should be in my vacuum canister.
*I will continue to be aggravated by the people in the school drop off line. I should be able to come to terms with the fact that it becomes only a minor inconvenience to me when people want to act like their kid is going to perish if they don't get out under the awning (even on sunny days), but I just can't.
*My life would be much more peaceful if I did a serious purge of some Facebook "friends", but I just can't do it. I like to think it is just because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but it is much more likely that I am just a weenie.
*I am concerned that my kids are going to develop some sort of horrid affliction from watching too much television.
*I really want to eat an egg roll, some wontons and 40 million crab rangoon right now. This diabetes crap really sucks.
*I am so tired. I would like to curl up in a sunny spot on the carpet and sleep for three days.
Wow...not much in that brain worth mulling over at the moment!
*My head hurts and it sucks. There are no painkillers I feel comfortable taking as they ALL interact with one of the two meds I am on. If there is no other motivation for me to attempt to get my blood sugar and blood pressure normalized, the fact that I would love an ibuprofen and a swig of Mylanta is enough.
*I sure hate the fact that my grandma is in the hospital in Casper and I am here and my mom is in Arkansas.
*I wish my house was clean. A dust bunny fell out of the (indoor) sky last night. Getting rid of the interim housecleaner was a bad idea. I am going to call her and beg her to come rescue us before we are buried under piles of gunk that should be in my vacuum canister.
*I will continue to be aggravated by the people in the school drop off line. I should be able to come to terms with the fact that it becomes only a minor inconvenience to me when people want to act like their kid is going to perish if they don't get out under the awning (even on sunny days), but I just can't.
*My life would be much more peaceful if I did a serious purge of some Facebook "friends", but I just can't do it. I like to think it is just because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but it is much more likely that I am just a weenie.
*I am concerned that my kids are going to develop some sort of horrid affliction from watching too much television.
*I really want to eat an egg roll, some wontons and 40 million crab rangoon right now. This diabetes crap really sucks.
*I am so tired. I would like to curl up in a sunny spot on the carpet and sleep for three days.
Wow...not much in that brain worth mulling over at the moment!
Monday, February 7, 2011
For the Longest Time...
Ahhhh...Billy Joel...Takes me back...
Anyway, the last month has been busy, busy and I have no idea really what I have been doing. Without referring back to my calendar to refresh my memory, I am hard pressed to guess where my time has gone.
Girl Scout cookie season has officially ended. I managed to get 1500 boxes of cookies distributed to the girls in the troop and then get money turned in for those 1500 boxes. having that finished almost feels like winning the lottery. But without the influx of millions of dollars, unfortunately.
Bryn and I went and saw "Shrek: The Musical". It was a lot of fun and reminded me that I don't get out enough for "girl time" with Bryn.
We have had enough snow to last for a few years, I think. Bryn has been out of school for at least 7 or 8 snow days since Christmas and although shoveling the driveway is fine exercise, I am about over it. Putting that pool in just in time to close it up for the winter has been a form of torture for us - let's get to swimming weather already!
Went to Chicago to visit Grandma and Grandpa with Nicole and Jeremiah. It was a quick trip, but we had a good time.
I have spent lots of time testing my blood sugar and learning about diabetes. Not exactly good times, but I am adjusting.
Time flies. I keep thinking I need to slow down and savor, but who the heck has time?
Anyway, the last month has been busy, busy and I have no idea really what I have been doing. Without referring back to my calendar to refresh my memory, I am hard pressed to guess where my time has gone.
Girl Scout cookie season has officially ended. I managed to get 1500 boxes of cookies distributed to the girls in the troop and then get money turned in for those 1500 boxes. having that finished almost feels like winning the lottery. But without the influx of millions of dollars, unfortunately.
Bryn and I went and saw "Shrek: The Musical". It was a lot of fun and reminded me that I don't get out enough for "girl time" with Bryn.
We have had enough snow to last for a few years, I think. Bryn has been out of school for at least 7 or 8 snow days since Christmas and although shoveling the driveway is fine exercise, I am about over it. Putting that pool in just in time to close it up for the winter has been a form of torture for us - let's get to swimming weather already!
Went to Chicago to visit Grandma and Grandpa with Nicole and Jeremiah. It was a quick trip, but we had a good time.
I have spent lots of time testing my blood sugar and learning about diabetes. Not exactly good times, but I am adjusting.
Time flies. I keep thinking I need to slow down and savor, but who the heck has time?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Sometimes it's the little things...
that make me happy. After my last post (in which I apparently sounded like I was headed for the nearest tall bridge or building based on the number of concerned calls and messages I received), I thought I would get back to blogging about the more mundane parts of my life...
Here are some of the "little things" that have put a smile on may face in the last week or so...
* Finding a show that hubby and I can watch together without one of us wanting to claw our eyeballs out. That actually brings our together-TV-show total up to 3.
* Some snow to make things look clean and white and new. Until all the cars roll through it and the dog pees in it, anyway.
* A new USB blood glucose meter that plugs right in and creates all kinds of fancy graphs and tables. If I have to be diabetic, I should at least have cool gadgets, right? As an extra added bonus, it was FREE because it was on sale and I had a coupon - now I can spend that $74.99 on something fabulous like test strips to go with it.
* Coffee. I had a cup of coffee the other day for the first time in a month or so. Yum.
* Aaron and Grant in their matching "wife-beater" tank t-shirts. I am not sure how I feel about Grant walking around actually referring to his shirt as a wife-beater, but he looked pretty cute.
* A couple of new non-stick skillets. I can even "legally" put these in the dishwasher because they actually said "dishwasher safe" on the box.
* Bryn "forgetting" to give me her report card for three days and then opening it and finding out that she truly did forget - her grades were great.
* My sparkly red fingernail polish. I will go more subdued this next time, but I love that after almost 3 weeks, the gel polish has just shown its first sign of wear and tear.
*Grant signing his goodnight songs with me - all out of tune and garbled, just like I sing them!
I am so thankful for so many big things (a wonderful husband, great kids, fabulous friends and family), but sometimes it's the little things that really remind me that LIFE IS GOOD!
Here are some of the "little things" that have put a smile on may face in the last week or so...
* Finding a show that hubby and I can watch together without one of us wanting to claw our eyeballs out. That actually brings our together-TV-show total up to 3.
* Some snow to make things look clean and white and new. Until all the cars roll through it and the dog pees in it, anyway.
* A new USB blood glucose meter that plugs right in and creates all kinds of fancy graphs and tables. If I have to be diabetic, I should at least have cool gadgets, right? As an extra added bonus, it was FREE because it was on sale and I had a coupon - now I can spend that $74.99 on something fabulous like test strips to go with it.
* Coffee. I had a cup of coffee the other day for the first time in a month or so. Yum.
* Aaron and Grant in their matching "wife-beater" tank t-shirts. I am not sure how I feel about Grant walking around actually referring to his shirt as a wife-beater, but he looked pretty cute.
* A couple of new non-stick skillets. I can even "legally" put these in the dishwasher because they actually said "dishwasher safe" on the box.
* Bryn "forgetting" to give me her report card for three days and then opening it and finding out that she truly did forget - her grades were great.
* My sparkly red fingernail polish. I will go more subdued this next time, but I love that after almost 3 weeks, the gel polish has just shown its first sign of wear and tear.
*Grant signing his goodnight songs with me - all out of tune and garbled, just like I sing them!
I am so thankful for so many big things (a wonderful husband, great kids, fabulous friends and family), but sometimes it's the little things that really remind me that LIFE IS GOOD!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
I guess it depends on how you look at it
It has taken me some time to get myself together on this post. Christmas has come and gone and I didn't blog about it. The kids have done some funny things and I haven't blogged about them. I have been distracted. I got some news in late November that has changed my life as I know it. It was either an early Christmas present to my me for my health or the most devastating health news I have ever received. I guess it depends on how you look at it.
I have Type 2 diabetes. It has changed virtually everything about my life. I poke my fingers and check my blood sugar a million times a day, I obsess about what I eat, I cry, I worry about every ache and pain, my house is a wreck because I can't get my life back to "normal" and I worry I am going to die tomorrow and leave my husband and my kids. I often feel like I am going crazy, I am not sleeping well, I am experiencing what are probably medication side effects and I spend a lot of time feeling nauseated and tired. I blame myself for getting fat and out of shape (although I have learned that winning the genetic lottery is also a requirement for Type 2 diabetes because not all fat people get Type 2 and not all Type 2s are fat).
But before you think I am going to completely lose it before tomorrow, there are some positives. This diagnosis could very well allow me to live a longer and healthier life than I would have otherwise as it will force me to pay closer attention to my health and my habits. I have had tons of tests that have come back OK - my heart seems OK, my liver and kidneys seem fine - and I am eating well and exercising and am more in tune with what affects my body. I have lost 12 pounds this month, I have stretches where I feel pretty good for hours at a time, I have met some supportive and inspiring people on-line, I have become something of an expert on many things diabetes and I have a new appreciation for the life I do have and all of the good things in it.
I will never be "cured" but in 2011 I hope to learn how to balance my new chronic illness with my real life. I know there will be good days and bad days, I know that there will be times where I can't function and leave Aaron holding the bag and I know I will have setbacks. I also know that every cloud has a silver lining - sometimes it is just a little harder to find than others. But I will be looking hard because this is my new life and I don't plan to let diabetes get the best of it. So I hope to laugh a little harder, play a little more, love like it can all be lost in an instant and worry a lot less. I hope to learn to live in a way that I haven't always before - finding joy in all the moments and focusing on the real blessings in my life.
Diabetes. Blessing or curse? I guess it depends on how you look at it.
I have Type 2 diabetes. It has changed virtually everything about my life. I poke my fingers and check my blood sugar a million times a day, I obsess about what I eat, I cry, I worry about every ache and pain, my house is a wreck because I can't get my life back to "normal" and I worry I am going to die tomorrow and leave my husband and my kids. I often feel like I am going crazy, I am not sleeping well, I am experiencing what are probably medication side effects and I spend a lot of time feeling nauseated and tired. I blame myself for getting fat and out of shape (although I have learned that winning the genetic lottery is also a requirement for Type 2 diabetes because not all fat people get Type 2 and not all Type 2s are fat).
But before you think I am going to completely lose it before tomorrow, there are some positives. This diagnosis could very well allow me to live a longer and healthier life than I would have otherwise as it will force me to pay closer attention to my health and my habits. I have had tons of tests that have come back OK - my heart seems OK, my liver and kidneys seem fine - and I am eating well and exercising and am more in tune with what affects my body. I have lost 12 pounds this month, I have stretches where I feel pretty good for hours at a time, I have met some supportive and inspiring people on-line, I have become something of an expert on many things diabetes and I have a new appreciation for the life I do have and all of the good things in it.
I will never be "cured" but in 2011 I hope to learn how to balance my new chronic illness with my real life. I know there will be good days and bad days, I know that there will be times where I can't function and leave Aaron holding the bag and I know I will have setbacks. I also know that every cloud has a silver lining - sometimes it is just a little harder to find than others. But I will be looking hard because this is my new life and I don't plan to let diabetes get the best of it. So I hope to laugh a little harder, play a little more, love like it can all be lost in an instant and worry a lot less. I hope to learn to live in a way that I haven't always before - finding joy in all the moments and focusing on the real blessings in my life.
Diabetes. Blessing or curse? I guess it depends on how you look at it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)