It is some thing about this time of year that always makes me feel a bit frantic even when I try to keep things on my calendar and my to-do lists to a minimum. Maybe it is the shorter days, the madness of the crowds everywhere I go, the fact that it is the end of the year and there are things left undone...I don't know, but it seems that in December I consistently want to grab a bottle of wine, the TV remote, a warm pair of jammies and head to bed until January! Never seems to happen, though!
I think I am also fighting some mental anxiety about a number of things going on with family and friends, mostly health related. As a serious control freak, I find it difficult to deal with the fact that things are going to sometimes go wrong whether I want them to or not and I can't do a darn thing about it. At the top of my anxiety inducing list at the moment is a life-long friend who I can see slipping back into the grip of depression (and potentially self-destructive behaviors) after a pretty stable year. She lives far away and even though I know I couldn't fix it if I was there it still adds to the feeling of helplessness I have about it.
But for each negative there is a positive, and the fact that my FIL came through his prostate surgery with flying colors is a true blessing! Additionally, we have been pretty healthy so far this cold season here at the Reed house and Grant is turning into a truly fabulous sleeper! And thinking about the fact that this time last year I had a puppy peeing all over my house all the time and now there hasn't been an accident (knock on wood) in months makes me do a little happy dance!
(I just realized I put a successful surgery and a housebroken dog in the same list of blessings - obviously one is a little bit bigger of a deal than the other but I'm thankful for all I can get!)
So I suppose that simply putting one foot in front of the other will get me through it all - good and bad, positive and negative, easy and difficult. And I am so thankful for every day that I have my family and my health and there is no better time to remember that than during this month when we celebrate the true meaning of Christmas...
4 comments:
Oh Kara...what I wouldn't do to be there and give you a huge in person hug! It breaks my heart that you're feeling this way! I wish there was something, anything, I could do to help...and if there is, big or small, just say the word. I'm so very, very sorry about your friend, and if it's who I think it is, I'm so sorry for her little girl as well. I can understand why that must just be tearing you up inside.
Usually I find December overly frantic, but yet I love every second of it. This year I'm having a hard time even getting laundry done. Usually my house is decorated inside and out with the tree up and filled with gifts the weekend after Thanksgiving. I usually have my cards all made and mailed. I usually have a huge list of all the goodies I'm going to be baking and have bought all the ingredients. This year I can't seem to get anything done. Last night I did finally dig out the kids' little trees and their ornaments so they could decorate them. And I got cards made for the people who I need to mail boxes to. You know I kind of hate myself for not fighting through and just seizing on the joy of the season, but I just seem paralyzed this year.
You gave me such a smile commenting about putting a successful surgery and a housebroken dog in the same list of blessings. But you know, I think that's absolutely perfect! Because I think being happy requires an ability to be thankful for the small along with the big blessings in our lives. And I hope my dear, dear friend that there are an overwhelming amount of blessings coming your way this holiday season!
Do me a favor, would you? Ask Aaron to give you one humungous hug from me. And while I'm doling out surrogate hugs, could you please give Bryn and Grant big ones for me? And please, sweetie, if I can do anything at all, you know where I am...and it would make me soooo happy if I were able to do anything at all to lift your spirits.
I love you Kara!
bummer. doesn't sound so bad, though. we'll talk some time. Help you put things in perspective...
Blessings come in all shapes & sizes. Nothing wrong with being able to recognize them all! =)
I'm right there with you in the Overwhelmed Department...Really should be writing the Christmas letter and not reading blogs.
Yep. I'll get on that right away!
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