I am not sure exactly what has me down, but I have been on the edge of sad for a few days. I spilled over sometime last night and am stuck now. Temporarily, I am sure, as these moods always seem to pass. But I am not gonna lie - I am in quite the funk.
It all started with catching up on Deadliest Catch. For those of you that are fans, you know what is coming. I don't know what it is about Captain Phil. Maybe the sometimes longish hair reminds me of my own dad (although I am pretty sure that Dad never crab fished and I am very sure that he doesn't cuss, drink or smoke quite as much as Captain Phil). Maybe it is the way he cusses his sons yet loves them fiercely. Maybe it is the way he lights up at a practical joke or a good bit of fun. I don't know exactly what it is, but I know when I heard that he had died, I broke down and cried like he was an old friend. Watching the shows leading up to his death and knowing what is coming for him and his family just makes me so darn sad.
Which brought to the surface the sadness that lingers for my friend Krista. Her husband's 37th birthday would have been today, but instead of being able to celebrate his birthday with him, she took her kids to their shrink so they could work on processing his death. How can that be right? It is nothing but just plain sad.
I am sure I do not even have to mention that turning on the news or picking up the newspaper is just plain depressing. Missing children, war, disease, oil in the Gulf, people arguing over politics.
Discussed with a friend tonight the death of her only daughter, which happened 3 years ago. No weddings, no grandkids, no more Mother's Day presents. Heartbreakingly sad.
Can't a girl catch a break? I know there are wonderfully lovely and happy things happening to me and around me all the time. But some days the sad things just seem to outnumber the happy.
Here's hoping for a little more sunshine and a little less rain tomorrow.